Nothing Ever Happens in Tucson... yet again.: Archive

Story of the week

I’m sure I’ll get in big trouble for this but oh well it’s not like I haven’t done anything really stupid before or will again so here goes ladies and gentlemen… So I’m at Roscoe’s the other day and lo and behold I find a lovely card in the card pile (where young lads write sexual inappropriate messages with their phone numbers to give out to potential...

Jan 17th

Best photobomb ever

kellyoxford: I mean.

Jan 17th

2,729 notes

Jan 3rd

Dec 24th

Dec 13th

Dec 12th

Dec 8th

Happy Holidays!

Just so we’re all clear, I’ll be accepting donations up to and including December 31st, 2011. http://ce.culinary.edu/ciachef/CourseListing.asp?master_id=1680&course_area=AE&course_number=1603&course_subtitle=00 Please show your giving spirit for the less fortunate… me. Happy Holidays!

Dec 8th

Obsessed.

So, I’m a little obsessed. I get obsessed about things. You know this. I know this. Lets just be cool about it. I ordered some pretty bomb-ass shit from amazon.com last week. I can’t talk about what I ordered because I’m sure I’ll be made fun of until the end of time but I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. But let’s get back to the point of obsession....

Dec 6th

Facebook Creepin' v. 2.0

Oh my god I’m so creepy. It has been brought to my attention that I tend to facebook creep on people I DON’T particularly care for rather than people I actually like. That’s unstable. And then I read and judge their status updates and go through their pictures like, ‘ewww I dislike you.’ But why are we facebook friends?? WHY??? And in musing about my creepiness I...

Dec 6th

Really.

The monkeys that live in the apartment above us are horrible creatures. As I type this, currently they are having some sort of hysterical laugh-a-thon while supposedly chucking tennis balls against the wall. Some of us are trying to nap. I mean. However their favorite 1am activity is some sort of furniture moving and screaming/dancing contest that lasts 4-5 hours depending on how fun it...

Oct 27th

Oct 10th

Oct 6th

Oct 2nd

Sep 30th

Happy Endings.

Everything was going so, so well. Job is great. Hours are changing from evenings to mornings. Finally picked up dry cleaning after a month of lazily lurching by little place on way to work. Labor Day bbq- HUGE success! Met someone new and interesting. Very fun events planned for the month ahead. So of course it makes sense for me yesterday to wake up possibly blind in the right eye. I have never...

Sep 13th

Sep 2nd

Jul 23rd

Jun 12th

Jun 9th

A Short Collection...

…. of facebook advertisements I’ve seen over the past week. Simply put, facebook has taken my interests and activities into consideration and put together these delightful ads! Since when is holding a baby deer listed in 100 things to do in Tucson? Please for the love of god can someone tell me where I can hold a baby deer?!? Alright, drinking a daquiri will help me lose 13 lbs...

Apr 15th

“Was thinking about: That Rebecca Black “Friday” video. It haunts me....”

– The Talented Mr. Roto, Matthew Berry. Someone as neurotic as me? Love.

Mar 31st

Mar 22nd

Don't Worry.

I have everything under control. Like, super under control. I have found the secrets to improving my life from the most reliable of sources, including, but not limited to: Television. Word of mouth from people just as unstable as I. Dreams - mostly about celebrities adopting me and then forcing me to drink all of their liquor, and yes, baking scones. So let’s start with things I...

Mar 14th

Mar 13th

Jan 27th

Happy Hanukkah!

Since my last post was painfully long and ramble-icious, let’s make this short shall we. (Sort of) menu for tomorrow’s Hanukkah dinner party: Goat cheese and heirloom tomato salad with roasted garlic vinaigrette Cornmeal crusted catfish with corn relish and poblano chile sauce Um… dessert? And per spoiled rich jew tradition, let’s be selfish and list ridiculous items...

Dec 4th

I fell in love again...

Every once in a while I’m reminded of how good it is to live in Chicago. It seems strange to me that a place I’ve left twice without hesitation still manages to draw me back in every time I return. For about 20 years I’ve had an extreme love/hate relationship with my fair city and this past weekend has surfaced a wave of emotions for me that I can’t quite explain, but...

Dec 1st

I’ve basically been listening to this song...

Nov 26th

Nov 24th

2,947 notes

Nov 22nd

Nov 18th

Nov 15th

Watch

Also… EMILY HAINES I WANT YOUR STUDDED JACKET That is all.

Nov 7th

Nov 5th

So let’s be real here. This morning I roll drunkenly out of my disheveled bed and drag myself to the bathroom to find I’ve forgotten to take out my contacts… again. But even worse, my eyes literally look like the shit has been beaten out of me. Dark. We all know I have too many flaws/obsessions to count but this has got to be the worst. A healthy combination of poor genetics and...

Oct 29th

1 tag

I don’t think it’s any secret that I am overly and aggressively neurotic. Part of me believes it’s not exactly all my fault (refer to previous posts both marked “mother” and “jew”) but still why have I not attempted to do anything about it? Clearly it’s ruining my life. And these neuroses have caused me an irresponsible amount of anxiety. I like to...

Oct 8th

“That’s what one Hubert Humphrey said back in 1968 at the start of the...”

– Sue Sylvester. Thank you.

Sep 30th

Whitney Cummings - Princess Complex: So, I’m a... →

whitneycummings: So, I’m a little obsessed. I get obsessed about things. You know this. I know this. Lets just be cool about it. My current fixation is women and how we want jewelry as gifts. A friend of mine and I were talking about the Cartier “Love” bracelet and how we both wanted one and I was trying to… All very true - except NEVER wear white to Medieval Times. Trust me.

Sep 12th

56 notes

Sep 10th

Anxiety.

When I have too much time on my hands, or I have a long list of things to do in which I choose to ignore, I go over my irrational anxieties in my head. Although damaging to my daily production I feel as though they might be mildly entertaining for others. Anxieties of the day: I left my leftover pad thai in a friend’s fridge yesterday - she lives across town. I just remembered I may want to...

Sep 9th

Watch

Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source | Onion News Network Imagine Grabblers constantly scheming to take your money… BWHAHAHAHA

Aug 9th

Aug 6th

I'm a bad person

Honestly, why bother having a blog when I can’t find the time of day to update it? And furthermore why is this post complaining about NOT posting often enough when I am “studying Italian DOC and DOCG Regulations” aka “constant facebooking”? I promise to update more.

Aug 6th

Jun 19th

18 notes

“My tour has ended and I’m having trouble adjusting. I just screamed at my wife...”

– Conan O’Brien (via popculturebrain)

Jun 16th

466 notes

Jun 8th

I Know this Was a While Ago, but It's Making Me...

LINDSAY LOHAN: It makes you feel like, the unorgana—…like how disheveled some of it is, and how much there is?  Yes, the clutter.  Um, it’s… It takes up a lot of space, you know?  Mentally. 
NIECY NASH: Emotional space too! 
LINDSAY LOHAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah! …And its… It becomes hard to focus sometimes, it gets very distracting, and yeah, I agree with that.

Jun 2nd